Witchy Woman

So here's something that doesn't happen everyday.

On my way to a book store to look for a good map of Uruguay, two strange old ladies, sitting on a bench, one asked me if I had a light, which I obiviously didn't. After crushing their nicotine dreams, the same one asked where I was from, as, believe it or not, I stand out a little bit in South America. So after a quick moment of geographical chat, the lady who did the talking asked my to hold out my hand.

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit. When I first saw these two ladies, I thought to myself, "Self, these two ladies look like gypsies." Scarves, eleven layers of shirts, bandanas, big hoop earrings, patchouli. If they would have been wearing a Cream t-shirt they would have looked like half of the staff at the Grain Train.

So back to the magic. After reading the lines in my hands and telling me that I was going to have a long and prosperous life and everything everyone wants to hear, she asked for a bill, a piece of paper money. And now the graft begins. I wasn't born yesterday, but this was too cool not to spend five dollars on. So, the one who did the talking, the other gyspy lady just sat there, took my 100 peso bill, folded it into a tiny little wad of cash, and began to tell me, at least this is what I think she was telling me, something about loneliness, prayers to Mary Magdalene, and risk-taking. Asking to keep the 100 peso bill as a donation, she pocketed it as quick as anything.

But now this is where it gets fun. Now, she asked me for a larger bill and with her gypsy magic, I had a 200 peso bill out because I really wanted to see where this was going. Now, she told me she was going to throw it into the sea (read wallet) and if I was OK with that. Why not.

So, out from her giant gypsy jacket comes a small bottle of what she said was holy water. A drop on my palm and a drop on her palm, she put the 200 peso bill into my little dab of Jesus water and then put into her hand. Then she had me blow on the money - I know, right? Then she did the same. And then she spit all over the money. Like, alot. There was alot of spit. It was a bit icky.

After drenching the bill in spit, she wadded it up into her hand, and put it into her pocket to be "thrown into the sea." Now, with her clean hand, she get, from some other mystery pocket, a sprig of rosemary and what I think is a dried mushroom, as it looks like a pebble, but is still a bit squishy. I keep them, and I'll  have a wife soon, or win the lotto, or some shit. Beats me.

So, for fifteen dollars I got some herbs, a nib of fungus, and one of three things:

1. Good gypsy luck.
2. Eternal damnation.
3. Conned.

It's probably number 3, but hey, I'd be lying if I said I still didnt have that weird feeling around the back of my neck. If it worked for Springsteen, I guess it can't be too bad.